The infamous bucket list
Our magical vessel that contains all our future hopes and wishes to enjoy before we die. But what exactly is it, and how did that name come about? Well, I’ll tell you.
There are several theories ranging from a child’s game of literally kicking a ball until it accidentally hits a strategically placed bucket terminating you in the game. Or the practice of mourners sprinkling holy water from a bucket placed at the deceased’s feet. And then this last theory that goes back to the middle ages where the guilty person would have to stand on a bucket with a noose around his neck and when the bucket was kicked, the person would be hanged.
Ultimate To-Do List
Either way, nowadays it’s a strong metaphor for all that we hold dear. It's where we put our ultimate goals and dreams to experience before we pass on. Yet, rarely are any of our specific friends associated with any of these aspirations. So, naturally, that got me thinking…we prepare for our inevitable life transitions such as becoming a free bird in the empty nest or planning the picture-perfect retirement, but with no real thought as to the friends alongside us in these new chapters. Why is that?
Do you see yourself doing your bucket list experiences solo? Now, if you’re a total introvert then this would make perfect sense. But if not, how likely are you to do any of these things if you have no one to do them with?
An empty bucket
Stop and think…does your own bucket list include your actual friends? I’ll wager most don’t for several reasons. I’ll name just a few of the most common ones here:
First, few realize that it’s perfectly normal for about half our close friends to rotate every seven years. So, if you’re not constantly actively adding new people into your circle to develop into real friends…well, you can see what that math suggests and why you need to be proactive, or else.
Secondly, it’s much harder to make friends after you turn 50. Sure, it was simple back in school when everyone was forced together, but after the constructs of school, college, career, or even the roles of mother or wife, we’re often suddenly physically and/or mentally alone for the first time since childhood. When you think about it, very few women from our past can live up to being a true friend – someone that will stick with us no matter what comes next.
And thirdly, some of those dear friends pass on before us and we’re left feeling like a big old bucket is total overkill and a small teacup would do just fine to hold what few dreams and goals remain. It’s a rather bleak outlook, but an all too real saga playing out in today’s modern world.
We’re all literally virtually connected to almost everyone in the entire world and yet no one all at the same time, because cyber acquaintances have inherent limitations (more about this hot topic another time). Escalating suicides show cyber connections are simply not enough and many do serious damage.
Fun-filled destinations ahead
So, what is one to do to get off that miserable bus to nowhere and on to the bus headed to fun-filled destinations instead? The answer is clear. You start finding, meeting and making those meaningful friends that naturally align with the “new you” moving forward. They’re the ones who also want to live authentically and be their own woman without facades. These gals also want to do fun similar things instead of rapidly deteriorating in front of the TV day in, day out, so you actually have much in common before you even meet.
Sounds simple enough - and for some lucky gals, it is. But if you’re feeling scared, stuck and clueless like most women do, that’s normal. Commit to getting off that bus of despair. Begin by creating new circles of meaningful gals who inspire you by reaching out to me, for starters. What to do after you meet determines if you become BFFs or part ways...I can help you with that, too. After decades of experience of connecting happy people, this is my expertise. I promise, you couldn’t wish for a kinder expert to help you plan and create the most remarkable fun journey of your life. Take your first step by clicking the free 30-minute Friendship Clarity Call and we’ll have a relaxed chat. I bet I can help take the anxiety away.
If you've enjoyed this musing, please leave a comment and tell me what your takeaway was. Feel free to share the goodness on social media, too.
Founder & Chief Friend Instigator
I'm in my element when I'm exploring thoughts of this challenging topic of female friendships. Sometimes things spill out into the real world and end up here in this blog,
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