Have you ever wondered how your social skills rate? And what are they anyway? Odds are, however you define them they can stand to be improved. If your social skills are so-so, or a bit below par, polishing them up might be the best thing you could ever do to invest in your new self. Getting confident in these must-have skills will supercharge your business and personal life!
Social skills, just like confidence, are the result of things we’ve witnessed, learned, and experienced. They’re very different for everyone. No matter what areas you feel a little weak in, with some focused attention your social skills will dramatically improve. And when they do, everyone will notice the new and improved YOU…because you’ll see they react differently to you.
Here are seven main areas of social exchange. How do you measure up? Try out these easy actions to get a feel for what will help create your social foundation:
Solid, safe, dependable friends are as basic to our well-being as food, water, and shelter. Yet their definition has become one of lifes mysteries.
Definition of friend
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem
She's my best friend.
Definition of acquaintance
1a: the state of being acquainted
They had a long-standing acquaintance.
b: personal knowledge : FAMILIARITY
had no acquaintance with the facts of the case
2a: the persons with whom one is acquainted
b: a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly close friend
is a casual acquaintance
Friend (noun and verb)
Definition of Friend
A “Facebook Friend” may or may not be someone with whom you have ever met or interacted with other than requesting that he or she be added to your network or that you confirmed that he or she be added to your network.
Ask anyone to describe what being friends means and they’ll likely stammer or get that glazed-over look.
Defining friendship is no easy task because we all have different interpretations and expectations. We’re also the result of our previous friend experiences. Good or bad, they left an impression. If we’ve only known “so-so” quality friends, we’re more apt to describe our idea by what we’ve experienced. Often, it's easier to define what friendship isn’t. So, what remains ends up being our hopeful definition that we keep looking for in others.
Did you have ugly models? Reflecting on our notions of grown-up friendships...
Friends truly come in all shapes, sizes, ages, and flavors and few are anything like runway models. As soon as we branched out from the family unit into the playground and local neighborhoods, we suddenly began to see a rainbow of people for the first time. The quest began to find other kids that wanted to be our friend. Turns out, this quest is an eternal one.
Some of those new play friends we met ended up being well-adjusted, thoughtful and friendly to us. While others were just spiteful for some unknown reason. They envied our shoes, lunch, or some such silliness. In retrospect, they were mirroring what they thought a friend did based on some dysfunctional experience they received or witnessed. Meanness is generally a learned behavior.
New and improved models
This carried on until we ran across new and better quality friendship examples. That suddenly gave us a benchmark to compare our other friendships against. Now there was a new and improved model. Those previous friends that didn’t pass the muster were dropped and this new and better model became our new friend. Over time, we gradually weeded out the ones that really weren't friends at all.
The infamous bucket list
Our magical vessel that contains all our future hopes and wishes to enjoy before we die. But what exactly is it, and how did that name come about? Well, I’ll tell you.
There are several theories ranging from a child’s game of literally kicking a ball until it accidentally hits a strategically placed bucket terminating you in the game. Or the practice of mourners sprinkling holy water from a bucket placed at the deceased’s feet. And then this last theory that goes back to the middle ages where the guilty person would have to stand on a bucket with a noose around his neck and when the bucket was kicked, the person would be hanged.
Ultimate To-Do List
Either way, nowadays it’s a strong metaphor for all that we hold dear. It's where we put our ultimate goals and dreams to experience before we pass on. Yet, rarely are any of our specific friends associated with any of these aspirations. So, naturally, that got me thinking…we prepare for our inevitable life transitions such as becoming a free bird in the empty nest or planning the picture-perfect retirement, but with no real thought as to the friends alongside us in these new chapters. Why is that?
As normal life cycles stop and start, we often find ourselves at a crossroad, of sorts. A decision needs to be made. Taking the left fork represents one thing, and the right something entirely different. If knowing which way to turn isn't obvious, we tend to just hang out there for a while trying to determine which is the right path. Remember the yellow brick road scene where Dorothy stops at the fork in the road that no one told her was coming? She's forced to contemplate which way to go to find her true destiny. She has to choose.
It's all about the journey
This is part of the transition we all face as we move into our 50s. What do we really want to be when we grow up? It's a scary time, especially if you feel you have to make the decision all by yourself.
But, that's just it...you don't have to be all alone on that epic quest to find your real self. True, it's all about the journey, but who comes along with you is pretty important, too.
It's lot like dating
I hope you've been enjoying all the fun activities that summer brings. We end up doing lots of new social events. That means we find ourselves in other people's circles, too.
It's the perfect chance to widen our own friend circles. Somehow meeting someone through a mutual friends feels safer. That got me thinking...how can I help women stack the odds in their favor when meeting new prospective besties so things get off on the right foot? So that thought led to this...see it here:
When opposites blend beautifully
I remember this old English saying my mom used to say, “they’re like chalk and cheese.” Can you believe it dates back to 1390?
Sometimes there are no words
I hope your week is off to a good start. Mine certainly is. I'm bursting at the seams and grinning like a big fat old Cheshire cat! Why you ask? Because my interview article just got published on a prestigious parenting site in INDIA! Nice, right?
WOW! What a week. Between completing yet another week-long training and submitting a 1500-word article, I also managed to successfully merge two private groups of mine on Facebook. OK, that last one was a small victory, but for a technophobe, it was a big deal. I'm happy to report the fun energy in the new free group is totally living up to the new name...Merry Mavens! It launched this weekend and is going gangbusters, so that makes us all very merry!
Those who know me know I like quirky old photos so that helps explain the cover photo. Don't you just wonder whatever possessed these hilarious grandmas to strike this silly pose back then?
I learned of a study recently that said the average American hasn’t made a new friend in five years. YIKES! Good job I was sitting down because that blew me away. Does it surprise you as well, or does it describe you as well? I’m curious. You, too? Read on…
I'm in my element when I'm exploring thoughts of this challenging topic of female friendships. Sometimes things spill out into the real world and end up here in this blog,
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